Lakeland

Despite my great love for my spider hoover, Lakeland does sell some truly weird things. And whoever writes their catalogue descriptions is clearly on some sort of mind-altering substance:

Microwavable slippers: "Unzip the heels, remove the special rubber
insoles which attract microwave energy instantly, " - presumably microwave ovens and mobile phones will come flying towards you while wearing them. And in an emergency you could always eat them.

Colour-Changing Bubble Sphere - "Creating an air of calm and tranquillity, the mesmerizing effects of this enchanting centrepiece are truly spectacular." What do people do that's so spectacular while under the mesmerising effects? Bound to liven up any party or family gathering...

Telescopic Magnet Stick -"The size of an average pen, the brilliant Telescopic Magnet Stick extends to 21" (53cm) long, so that without bending over, you can effortlessly pick up metallic bits and bobs from the floor." - it's unclear whether these metallic bits and bobs should be there already, or whether the TMS calls them into existence through some sort of quantum effect...

Anyway, more here.